It is always hard to admit that you need a little help or that you don't know something but to me vulnerability has been one of my major keys to a happy life. Looking back now- growing up we never really talked deeply about feelings or were very vulnerable with one another. I remember as a child constantly feeling like I wanted to explain my feelings on why a decision was made or simply just talk about what feelings I was going through in my life. Our relationship with family was more black and white and while we loved so deeply it was never really through our words. I do not hold any bitterness to this or feel like the connection was so lost that it affected who I am today if anything it made me stronger. I do, however realize that my need for this was because of my passion for vulnerability and openness.
We all have the need to connect and when we are able to make better social connections our lives become richer! I've discovered in life that when daring to reveal my vulnerabilities I have been happier and able to make stronger emotional connections with all those around me. Brene Brown gave a popular TED talk on this topic and her research proves that "vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together." People who connect well and are happy, she discovered, have these traits in common:
-They have compassion, for others and for themselves.
-They reveal the fact that they are not perfect.
-They have no fear about being sincere and replace the image of who they really are with who they think they should be.
-They believe that being vulnerable is being beautiful and takes courage.
When I started becoming more vulnerable and true to myself it cultivated a sense of creativity, joy, love and belonging. I compare this vulnerability to my relationship with my husband in many ways and I realized how our bond has become even stronger when I dared to ask him for help. I realized fast that I can't always be giving without learning how to receive! I always did things myself and my way because it just seemed easier at the time. Ever since opening my arms to help it's strengthened my relationship with my husband and with others. Dare yourself to be vulnerable with your spouse or in your relationships and I promise it will bring you to a deeper connection and love for one another.
Career wise more people prefer leaders and managers who share vulnerable sides of themselves, I know I always did! It gives you a reason to connect with the person or see a side of others that is typically masked. I had much success moving up in my positions because of my ability to simply ask for help and not be afraid to share my vulnerabilities. Remember, you are always good enough and while you can be great at so many things it is not a weakness to find one thing difficult.
Being uncertain or having doubts is another form of vulnerability. It seems like today everybody has a certain opinion about everything. Many times telling people I simply don't know enough about the topic shocks them but quickly stops a conversation I wouldn't prefer to have. Oftentimes we give the wrong impression of ourselves simply by pretending to be perfect or always agreeable. By being vulnerable to you all I get to learn how to handle the associated emotions that come along with it. It is a beautiful feeling!
I am always working at this and trying to be kinder to myself. Becoming more honest has connected me to so many beautiful people in the same situation and has also set the tone with those who aren't. I can promise you this, the kinder you are to yourself the easier it will be to be kind to others! Always stand up and show up for yourself because nobody knows you better than yourself. Vulnerability is terrifying at times. The courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting yet rewarding experiences in life. Many times it will set you free.
Until next time friends,